And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:6,7
These beautiful words are a powerful command to Christian parents. Often used–and rightly so–as an example of the discipleship model of homeschooling, these verses have become a great encouragement to me in a whole new way.
For the past ten years I have struggled with severe, often crippling, fatigue. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, but always there presenting a challenge to one degree or another. Five of those years, including this one, I have spent partially bedridden.
This has been such a heartache and frustration to me and extremely difficult for our whole family. It has been an exhausting struggle, not just against the fatigue, but against discouragement too. God is so faithful though and has continually shown Himself, and His hand, in it all.
Six years ago – when I was expecting Baby # 8 and my health had plummeted yet again – I was lying in bed staring at my boring ceiling and feeling like a useless blob with a stream of despairing thoughts running through my mind:
“I’m missing even more precious time with my children. The household is turned upside down. My husband is bearing a huge burden… and to top it off, I’m too miserable to read, memorize Scripture, watch Jane Austen movies, organize my recipes or otherwise utilize all this lovely free time. Nope, all I can do is lay and stare. How can I teach my children? How in the world can I be of any use to God when I can’t even get out of bed or do anything?”
Suddenly Deuteronomy 6:6,7 popped into to my mind. It was one of those moments where you feel like God puts a comforting Hand on your shoulder and speaks Truth right into your ear.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:6,7
He drew my attention to the words “When thou liest down”. Aha! The light of Truth broke through my dark discouragement as God reminded me again that no matter how hard things are, no matter what condition I am in, I still need to be obedient to Him and I still have a responsibility to all the young eyes watching me. Andrew Kern nails it when he says “You are what you behold, and they’re beholding you”. Our children are always learning from us – for better or for worse – and we are always, always teaching, whether we realize it or not.
Charlotte Mason sums it up thus:
“The child breathes the atmosphere emanating from his parents; that of the ideas which rule their own lives.”
Whether I am up, reading books, baking cookies, and going on walks with my children, or whether I am in bed unable to sit up and do a thing, the example I am setting for them will leave a strong impression one way or the other. Through all these difficult days the hearts, minds and souls of the the young lives in my charge are being trained and formed. They are not on “pause” just because I can’t mother them the way I long to and in the perfect way I envision. They will either learn to doubt God or they will learn to trust Him.
If I can do nothing more than lie in bed I can do it with a good attitude and a smile for them when they come in the room. I can still provide a happy atmosphere in the home. I can avoid complaining. I can praise them for the extra work they have to do while Mommy is sick. I can encourage them to be a help to Daddy with a good attitude. I can pray for them. I can admire the cards they bring me. I can speak to them kindly. I can talk to them about the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father and the lessons we are learning through this trial. I can glorify God and point my children to Him by the way I conduct myself in times of trial and adversity. I can repent and apologize to them when I fail at all of the above. I can walk with God even when my body cannot move at all – and it is absolutely imperative that I do so.
I hope these thoughts will encourage you as they have me. Your trials will not be just like mine, but the beautiful truth of the Word of God applies in every circumstance. As mothers, we have eternal souls in our care that we are responsible for no matter what our situation in life is like. When things are going well we need to point our children to God. When times are hard we need to point our children to God.
May we be faithful to love Him with all our “heart, soul and might” and to teach this love for Him and the truth of His Holy Word diligently to our children. We can teach them when we sit down – whether it be because we are just to weak to stand, or to gather everyone around to read a book; when we walk along the way -whether our steps are faltering or strong;
when we lie down – on the couch in absolute exhaustion, or in green pastures as we study a flower alongside a child;
and when we rise up – as we climb the Hill Difficulty, or on wings like eagles.
Thank you for your insights on this. After years of cycles of pregnancy and life with an infant I was looking forward to a summer of having energy and doing things! I recently found out that I have a few health issues and am going to need to give my body time to heal. This has challenged my perspective.
Thanks for your note! I’m glad it was encouraging. I hopped over to your blog, and boy, can I relate to so much about what you say there! I’ll be praying for you.
Jen, I found your blog through the talk you did with Mystie on planning. I’m in my early 30s, but I have been disabled since my late teens. I’d just started realizing what stability and productivity could mean in my life when fatigue hit me a month or so ago. I have a four year old and a 2.5 year old, and have been planning to homeschool for years before we even had our first. This new _thing_, this fatigue like a tiredness I’ve never experienced, a weariness that invades body, mind, and spirit, has brought me to my knees. Of course, that is a good place to be, so long as we are on our knees before Our Most High. He brought me here today, to read your message, and your words have helped me realize and grasp Hope. Thank you, sister-in-Christ, for your courage in sharing. For your courage in keeping on. For your courage in diligently walking his path, even when, as you say, that comes when you can’t even rise from your bed. You have inspired and helped me, even though I can’t get out of my bed today, except for the most basic care for my kids.
Thanks for the kind words. I’m so glad it was encouraging and I will be praying for you!